FASHION & STYLE: Septembers calling.

So here I am, the girl that has indeed been wishing for summer for months. But I want to say “Hello” to July only to then ask if can I have September now? Yes that is indeed correct what you have just read, what a sorry little love affair I endure with seasons. I’m wishing for Autumn right now, slightly craving that Christmas cheer. My lack of contentment drives my desire for change, change I choose.
Question me if you must, about why I’m so supposedly ready to embrace a new academic year, a new season, a new everything really while others have not even tasted a true summer yet, merely snatched weekends of bliss when downpours on our country are briefly halted. My answer will read this: I do not know.

I could not tell you precisely why, only inform your with slight snippets and vague idea’s suggesting the reasons behind my thoughts. One of them lies in fashion, I no longer know if that will surprise you or not readers. After a good few years faithfully following catwalk shows, I’ve come to the conclusion that A/W beats S/S any day, no single solitary doubt about it. Come on, lets face it…who really cares what they dress like in summer? Its either to hot for you to pay much attention with your one and only focus being on not baking alive, or to cold for you to master the art of 70’s jumpsuit with a plunging neckline complete only with le floppy hat, impossible for it to stay on your head with the typical British met office warnings.
While A/W, it just offers so much, so many layers to tell stories with, not just a minimal white dress or two but heavy, thick fabrics for you to sink into during frosty dark mornings and darker nights. Polka dots & prints of every form imaginable are forecast to be everywhere by October, and considering that’s my basic uniform, I’m pretty damm happy. Then of course there is androgyny, I truly adore it. Excluding all things 50’s, I think its actually my favourite fashion trend- and on another note its also practical, I’m currently on a hunt for the perfect pair of brogues that will obey to keep out the snow and rain, you open toe wedges couldn’t do that. Think about it, over sized or fitted blazers with a luxe silk lining, and a classic crisp white shirt. Perfection. And if you thinking how to channel that into Christmas parties, delve into the possibility of loafers, with heels…falling more in love with them by the day.

Take inspiration from Ralph Lauren if you will. From the cut of the garments, to the flash of the red painted lips and stiletto's and then the sleek razor sharp, everything is a simple statement on its own, then added together, wow. Just wow.

FASHION & STYLE: Its Colleen!

Everyone does it. You know where you raise your hand to wave for a fleeting moment at someone you recognize before the split second it takes you to realise were you actually know them from? I practically did that about 10 minutes ago before I realised it was in fact Coleen Rooney I'd sighted and not someone who actually knew who I was. It took me a moment to take in and then let out a high pitched scream combined with a more scouse then usual tone of voice shouting something along the lines of "THAT WAS COOLEEENNNNNN, AHHHHHHHH!".

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not some big celeb spotter who really cares but I loved Coleen. Yes, note that use of the past tense verb, " to love".

Half an hour ago I would have cringed to admit this but sighting the lady herself has seemingly removed that embarrassment. Lets do a flashback to a Jess Corcoran at around 11....

Use you imagination if you can ladies and gentlemen, picture a girl around 5'5, hair favoured up in a high pony that exposed her fatness to its full glory. And that was me. If you had have asked me who my style icon was (not that I had a clue about Style back then, Tammy was my favourite shop) I would have said with a somewhat bold confidence that my style icon was in fact Coleen.

Hard to believe I know, but true. Coleen had that likability factor about her; she was young, sometimes naive and not afraid even under all the media attention to make a few mistakes. The 11 year old in me loved that about her, as well as the fact that she was scouse. Okay, I know now, the scouse look may all too often involve ingredients of fake tan and slug eyebrows but while Colleen was in her late teens she really ticked key fashion boxes and appeared on many best dressed lists.

Don't forget her sponsorships with George at Asda and Coca Cola. Then there's the books...yes I've read them both and coincidentally can I see 'Real Style' as I type. The girl made a success of herself and dressed to show it.

The question probably forming in your mind now my readers, will be something regarding why I know longer love Coleen? and honestly, I'm really struggling to find an awnser that holds any depth. Expect a pretty obvious one held in the fact that I'm not 11 year old Jess Corcoran anymore. I'm 16, and in the five years since I considered her my style icon have I transformed myself many times over.

 At 11 admittedly I held chav tendencies, meaning a tracky top and pink fluffy fake ugg's to a year 7 non uniform day. By 12 I had developed a certain love for black and eyeliner though the long winded Emo phase itself didn't kick in till about 13, *hot pink tutu's to a birthday meal* - lets never speak of it again. Approaching 14 had I somehow moved on to a Scene look, big backcombed hair, more eyeliner and jeans in almost every colour. (Red, Pink, Green, Blue, Black, Purple) But hey, I just did colour blocking two years early. By the later months of 14 you could call me indie wannabe, and 15? I guess I was more into vintage and including more key season pieces in my wardrobe.

Here I am now, Just turned 16 and not able to tell you what on earth I dress like at this present moment in time. But I've realised while writing this not be ashamed of all my phases and previous style icon's. I wouldn't be who I am now, without who I was then. Its taken 3 years to fully remove the eyeliner and too swap messy hair for a more regularly brushed mane. And it will take many more to refine my style fully, but I'm looking forward to and openly accepting the challenge.

So I thank you Colleen, I owe to you some of my original fashion awaking, and in your plain blue jeans, Black T-shirt and quite possibly your black and white skull scarf, McQueen if I'm not mistaken, I just might owe to you my fashion re awaking.  I can move away from it but its dawned on me the fashion is truly a part of me, and it makes me who I am.

And of that alone, I am proud.

FASHION & STYLE: Or a lack of it?

Its time to get ready for September. Although for some summer might not even have begun, the trends of A/W '11 wait for no one. Or do they? I've spent a good helping of my time checking out designers new collections and although I'm interested, I don't really care.

Right now I feel absolutely nothing about fashion, after all the time I've spend dedicated to it its a big thing to admit, but nevertheless, Its absolutely true. I flicked through my new copy of Elle today, and although internally I silently cheered for the return of brogues in a big way, It lasted merely a second.

Fashion for me as been everything. Its been a faithful best friend, a first choice of conversation, a overwhelming part of my life, I've been in awe, in admiration of it. But I no longer seek it out. At this moment in time I have no desire for "fashion". I love clothes, and shoes. I still of course buy magazines by the bucket load and can spot a fake Mulberry or Chanel from a mile away but its like my heart isn't in it.

I've been through phases with fashion: back away slowly then suddenly re awake a love for it, but never have I felt like this for so long. So bring on the new patterns, shapes and textures, bring on something to throw me back into a love of fashion...I'm waiting for you to really impress me.

MAGAZINES/RELIGION: Change.

After entering my room and dumping my bag I stood on top of my bed and reached over to the only organization my sleeping quarters possessed. The bookshelf; Very top if were going to be precise about it. Here I date order Vogue, Marie Claire, Nylon, In style, Glamour and of course, Elle. (Grazia's just get squashed in a box)

It was time to pull out the August 2010 issue of Elle, starring Lily Allen. And compare it to the issue exactly a year later: August 2011 issue of Elle, starring Lily Allen.

Black Hair? check. Tattoo? check.

Although Lily may have the same personal recognition features on the outside she did a year ago, Inside she's probably a completely different person. We all relate to that, although we've seen some of her experiences through the media there is probably plenty more hidden away, she holds stories deep inside that she'll never tell. Have you changed much in this past year?

I can tell you I have, A lot. I've changed too much in fact.  This past year has been so horrible, and its turned me into a person I never desired to be. Through various ways and means I've been transformed to a negative version of myself, I'm not proud of what the past 12 months have shaped me too be. I'm still a christian indeed, but I'm not a very good one. I even now refer back to my "Holy" self, a time when I lived better for God. That's something I, with God's help am going to change.

I never used to swear, I don't even want to count the times I do in a single day now. Yet on a single hand can I count the amount of times I've properly sat down to listen to God for more then 5 minutes since last July. If you've only known me since around September of last year, then you don't know Jess, not really. You've got to know a shell of Jess, with occasional "holy" moments thrown in. I want to revert back to back my old ways, with God's help I can. I'm going to slowly try and climb the ladder back up to God...Its not going to be easy, but I know for sure Its going to be worth it.

No matter all the stuff I've hidden in my past, God can accept it and he can forgive, I'm going to turn back to the true and loving ways of my saviour, starting right now. Its never to late for God.

SEASONS: I ♥ Summer.

There's just something about summer. Like the air is suddenly electric and there's that impossible creative wonder surrounding you; somewhere between the sticky heat, Mr. Whippy's and flip flops hitting the pavement do we suddenly feel alive. By that I mean really alive, not just somewhat hopelessly dragging ourselves through one day to the next, hoping for a break in the monotony provided by simple every day life.

Alive in summer means actually physically living, not just existing.  Quite literal are late nights and water fights. Not only does the sun shine brighter but the grass is greener and the water warmer, cliche I know. Summer to me is magical.  Simply not having to really be anywhere, the adventurous unplanned discovers and wanderings.  Even our typical British "Summer" with the usual distinct lack of good weather is beautiful, what would July & August be without a fair share of a rainy indoor day? only then to be matched with the way everyone bares there legs the second we hit above 18 degrees.

Summer makes me happy, and Summer makes me grateful. To be able to spend hot days and warm evenings with new people and old friends is quite a priviledge don't you think? just to have the time once a year to breathe, to relax and to just be happy. Free from pressure we can just be ourselves, it really makes you realise what is important, and what should be.

MISC/STYLE/RELIGION: Sorry, Its been a while...

On the eve of the final exam (textiles, appropriate don't you think?) I've finally decided to take to the laptop to try and write something more then a status. Read with much caution the word "try", but please don't worry yourselves, I am quite ready to fail. See after nearly a month without really writing anything (History and English do not count, half of my essay's made absolutely no sense) I think I've genuinely forgotten how too.

I don't know what I want to say to you all, expect that some of you more observant lifeforms may have indeed noticed the fact the URL has changed, again. I just can't help it, I get bored.

That's something I'm not going to apologize for though, my lack of contentment means that I'm constantly trying to make things better.I am in every sense the opposite of a perfectionist and I do hate most changes but when it comes to achieving something I'm happy with, admittedly I can't seem to find a balance between my own acceptance and the approval of others.

I guess that same thing comes in to context in our own personal style. When in life are we finally mature enough and self assured to say "you know what? this is who I am" and then reflect our attitudes, emotions and feelings through our clothing. It is of course no easy battle to conquer. When do you stop caring or seeking others opinions on your outfits? because if your outfits are meant to reflect your personality, why should you be judged for who you are.

Now is the time for me to hold my hands up and say, I do it. I judge, and I don't mean too and I shouldn't, but I somehow I still do. Its not to a major extent at all but it is something slightly evident both in my life and everyone Else's. It seems to be a default reaction when yet we have absolutely no right to judge anyone, only God can judge. I think that's something we should all really think about, we hate being judged, yet we judge.

The cycle has to stop, and soon.