MAGAZINES/RELIGION: Change.

After entering my room and dumping my bag I stood on top of my bed and reached over to the only organization my sleeping quarters possessed. The bookshelf; Very top if were going to be precise about it. Here I date order Vogue, Marie Claire, Nylon, In style, Glamour and of course, Elle. (Grazia's just get squashed in a box)

It was time to pull out the August 2010 issue of Elle, starring Lily Allen. And compare it to the issue exactly a year later: August 2011 issue of Elle, starring Lily Allen.

Black Hair? check. Tattoo? check.

Although Lily may have the same personal recognition features on the outside she did a year ago, Inside she's probably a completely different person. We all relate to that, although we've seen some of her experiences through the media there is probably plenty more hidden away, she holds stories deep inside that she'll never tell. Have you changed much in this past year?

I can tell you I have, A lot. I've changed too much in fact.  This past year has been so horrible, and its turned me into a person I never desired to be. Through various ways and means I've been transformed to a negative version of myself, I'm not proud of what the past 12 months have shaped me too be. I'm still a christian indeed, but I'm not a very good one. I even now refer back to my "Holy" self, a time when I lived better for God. That's something I, with God's help am going to change.

I never used to swear, I don't even want to count the times I do in a single day now. Yet on a single hand can I count the amount of times I've properly sat down to listen to God for more then 5 minutes since last July. If you've only known me since around September of last year, then you don't know Jess, not really. You've got to know a shell of Jess, with occasional "holy" moments thrown in. I want to revert back to back my old ways, with God's help I can. I'm going to slowly try and climb the ladder back up to God...Its not going to be easy, but I know for sure Its going to be worth it.

No matter all the stuff I've hidden in my past, God can accept it and he can forgive, I'm going to turn back to the true and loving ways of my saviour, starting right now. Its never to late for God.