Snap, crackle and pop.

I cracked. And with a lot less resistance then I hoped for. I know that gave up far to easily, without even really trying, and it somewhat shames me.

I feel like I've given up before I'd even really started, like I've walked away from a marathon without even really signing up, just half heartedly thinking about it.

I gave up magazines for lent. and lent isn't over, but here I am with a magazine. The worst thing about it is that I know I could have survived, but the temptation was too much. Not in a "I need this" way, but in a why ever not sence? My dad asked if I wanted one and even though there was a brief internal dilemma I still headed over to the magazine section to cradle Elle.

I'm so weak like this. And I don't even know why. I walked to pick it up knowing i'd regret it, yet i did it anyway. I'm battling with the inner rebellion that is so utterly pointless but always present. I don't need Elle. Utimately, its a waste of time. Yes its filled with Art, and talent. but its pointless. In the long run its worth absolutely nothing. I want to keep my eyes on Jesus, not on material things that mean nothing. So I'm doing it, I can't go back on it now...I'm throwing away my magazines. ALL OF THEM. every single last one.

I'm now off to be a little bit sick at just the thought of this....