THIS IS MY CHRISTMAS: Gem.

She would eat celebration boxes for breakfast, and unwrap a variety of presents. She would unravel the sellotape keeping the folds of paper together, with precision. She would anticipate mother and father opening their gifts off her. The novelty of buying things independently had worn off, so she just hoped that they had a day full of laughter. That would be the the rarest, yet most lovely gift of all, the cherry on top of the cake, or even more appropriately so, the handmade-in-primary-school-angel-that-has-been-perfectly-preserved-and-brings-a-feeling-of-nostalgia-when-placed on top of the tree. This teenage girl in Liverpool, lived through a Christmas day routine and loved it. However, this Christmas would force her to embrace change.

This festive day would not see her visit a certain side of the family, as contact had been broken off with them four months ago, leading up to the holiday that was traditionally known for bringing people together. The past four months had been a struggle, but had not really affected her personally. Her name had been brought up in conversation, to manipulate matters, but she had just sat back, and watched the situation unfold, and witnessed judgements, threats and anger. She had felt fear, lost hope, regained strength, worried for her mother and father, and tried to make everyone reason with her. The 25th December 2011 would force her to admit that her parents were caught up in feuds and arguments, and tangles, that had so many knots, and twists, and turns, and ups, and downs...a Christmas this year would see her father not speak to his own mother.

A relationship that had seen its bridges burned in September, where not only had there been rage, but explosives, and even fire that could be sensed within the air. Christmas in the year 2011 was going to be a year of change. Forgetting the change that is always promised by oneself every new year, this change had to be accepted. Her Christmas routine would be different this year. Less family would be visited. However, Christmas would still be loved. Change would not necessarily appear for the best, but she would make sure the family she held closest, would enjoy, and not regret any of 2011, and go into 2012, determined, facing the change that had been dropped into their lives, with a bout of tinsel, a string of fairylights, a handful of baubles and a bucketload of Christmas beer (or should that be 'cheer'?) At the end of the day, Gemma has no control over what happens in her Christmas. Whatever happens, she will never look back and regret not asking her snowglobe to transform into a crystal ball, and let her know how the year would end. Instead, Christmas will be loved, no matter what.